well

i wish i could shout "I TOLD YOU SO" at nearly every fucker i come across.

weapons in the form of words.

My mood swings are unbearable i swear one day i hope they just disappear. Not to mention people don't understand i HATE this contraception injection but no, no one takes me serious when i say i want to come off it, my body i don't care about anything else, it might not be the cause to my unsightly moods but seriously, I've never had high blood pressure and well i don't want to get a fat arse, i probably have one but FAT i don't want to gain weight because then i'd have nothing to be cocky about, for example being "fit from the neck down" wouldn't be true anymore i'd be more digusting then i feel everyday.

I know the truth, and it bugs me everyday not knowing what you think when you look at me :S agh die face.

All i have done today is listen to adtr and drink coffee because it reminds me bare of Conor paha how sad;/ i realised something though when i think "i'm not good enough" why should i think that when tbh i am good enough for anyone, not in a vain way but i need to think about saying it incase his ego tells him i'm not.

oh and people don't realise how happy i am, because i've never been this happy.


even if i get a tad jealous when he flirts, its cool.;/

mmm

i wish i could have quit you
i wish i never missed you
and told you that i loved you,
every time i fucked you.









I USED TO BE LOVE STRUCKED NOW I'M JUST FUCKED UP.

girls are stupid

I'm a girl but watching over girls do shit is so irritating like when they flirt with boys that have girlfriends, it's like LUL desperate.

and some people are so clingy ;o
it's quite funny.

MMM

It doesn't matter how many people tell you your beautiful, you kinda know their are the stunning people everyone wants then the people that people look through, i am that kinda person unless you know me, but you can't tell what a nice personality is by a ugly spotty fucked up no chinned face.

When i first met this person, we didn't see eye to but gradually we built up trust and today he has walked out on that and i refuse to be the push over to let you back into my life, when you cause me pain:|

i'm growing my hair still after 2 years not much progress but its getting there;/ i just can't wait till it's long a dark brown mmmm :F


and to top off life i think i have bipolar. overjoyed.

ergh

I've decided, i should just be like everyone else maybe, because i mean people don't like me for who i am anymore, they only see my face, which is hideous and it might be pathetic, but ugly is the most spiteful thing i think anyone can ever suggest and recently i feel so useless and unattractive. "good body, ugly face" i guess that's what I'll always be seen as since it creeps up on me when i forget about it. I'm grateful I'm not fat, but i think I'm tiered of people saying "your a nice girl" because that doesn't make me like myself or anything in fact it makes me feel like shit.

This has been my first week of being a complete failure to myself and my mum. I dropped out of school so it does sound bad, but it doesn't mean that i am not doing something about it? i hate school, i hate most of the teachers, i hate homework and tbh some of the people in it who i thought were my friends are either stuck up and no fun anymore or they are out of control and i can't be bothered with their bullshit and lies. yes, lies, i am hypocrite.

i am so use to having a shit relationship that would include me being a complete whore or them being a complete psycho clingy drug addict :|. So i'm not use to having this one even if it's like nearly 3 months it's still long for me and looking back i choke on my mistakes. I realised, when you break up with these kinds of people they turn on you. For example telling me i'm too small, too fat, too thin, to ugly, to bucked tooth, to whatever. These people aren't worth it.
Especially you, you told me i will never rise to your standerds, i will never be the dream girl you want, and you dated me because i'm real and well to tell me it's just sex but then months after to look at me as if your jaw was about to fall off, i don't believe the shit you come out with.


And on the subject of "love" last night i made a big decision. I won't be jelous of her when you never get the chance to be happy, you need to be happy and i was a drunk silly bitch. ak and now your gone, another person abandoning me, but one of my best friends the only one of them i kinda really trust now, apart from jess(L):(.

don't pressure me into smoking, or not smoking. i'll quit gradually it's not a overnight process. AND as far as hardcore class A drugs, you can fuck off right now.